29 December 2005

Nearly a New Year

The New Year is nearly here and I suppose that means I need to think about doing a post that will wrap everything up and contain some degree of learned knowledge or self discovery. Actually, that would be a good post because so much has changed between then (January 1) and now (December 29) but I'm going to have to put some thought into that, which means I won't actually do it until later.

For now... I spoke with CT last night and caught up on recent events. She split up with Brian just before Christmas and I got to hear all about the drama while I was driving to Charlotte. I'm glad she and I talk, she's had a rough go of it here lately and I don't quite get why. Smart gal, pretty, personable, easy to approach and certainly well worth dating... but for some reason she's had a hell of a time with dating. Sometimes I think she's too picky, but mostly I think she doesn't get out enough. The girl needs a hobby, she needs to get out and do things and meet more people and have more friends with whom to spend her time.

I went through my own predicament with her and got some very sound advice.

I've found that there's a curious thing about advice. Advice can be categorized, or defined, in one of two ways: Good or Bad. But what is good or bad advice? If someone gives you advice, that you follow, and events turn out badly, was it really bad advice, or was it just a bad execution? Here's my take:
Good advice is what you want to hear. It supports your current position.
Bad advice is what you don't want to hear because it opposes your current train of thought in one form or fashion.
Keep in mind that the idea of good or bad advice also changes with hindsight:

CT laid it out like this: I'm in a situation where I'm attracted to two women, and I'm reaching a point where I need to make a decision based on what is best for me, as well as what's best for them.

  • One of the women, Rock Gal, is available, atleast as interested in me as I am in her and seems to come packaged without any current complications. We definately have an interest in common and our personalities seem to compliment each other, atleast from what I can tell at the moment.

  • The other woman, Girl Friday has a variety of dramas in her life that are, in some ways, out of her control. She's coming out of a long relationship, wants to play the field a little and needs some time & room to figure out what she wants.


The nice guy in me, CT points out, wants to wait for her to see what happens. I want to be patient, give her room and hope for the best. If I make my intentions clear I risk pushing her away completely, but if don't make intentions perfectly clear I also risk being there for her for a few months and then losing her to someone else. Which, as I've learned too many times in the past, is a shitty way to be rewarded for your efforts. Of course, there's no point in missing a catch like Rock Gal based purely on inference, or what I think could be going on with Girl Friday, so the only logical thing to do is let life play itself out and see what happens.

I dig Rock Gal for different reasons than those I have for being attracted to Girl Friday, but that is not to say that I'm any less attracted to her than Girl Friday. Mostly, it comes down to availability and, to some degree, who has steaked their claim. Part of me wants to wait, but more of me wants to move forward. I don't want to miss an opportunity but I need to put that out of my mind, because I would hate to not give Rock Gal a fair chance (in my mind) because of some weird hang up I have on Girl Friday.

As always, I'm thinking too much.

Rock Gal called me last night while I was talking to CT. I chimed her back and it was nice talking to her because she's full of compliments and makes me feel real good about me, which is totally kick ass. The best news of all this is that Rock Gal is going to the New Year's Eve party with me.

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