Giving it up?
I just walked out of the breakroom and a rather disturbing discussion. Three guys were discussing about how, when they got married, they had to give up all their toys and possessions because their wife doesn't approve of what they have/do/enjoy. I piped up, of course, that its stupid to think that someone would have to stop doing something they enjoy simply because of their wife.I made that point that Rock Gal has more goodies than me and she thinks everything I am involved with is pretty cool. Hell, she encourages me to get back into racing, spend time cycling and do all the crazy man-type shit I enjoy doing. Of course, they all jumped in with "Oh, just you wait!" and "you'll see how it is someday..."
I'm not thinking about getting married any time soon, but this kind of conversation always bothers me. Honestly, if the person you are with is bent on changing you, or isn't happy with you doing something that makes you happy... what's the point in marrying them? Its not my fault they married the wrong women.
Unfortunately, I've seen this kind of thing far too many times in the past. I always used to think it was more of a joke than anything else, but I've come to realize it is much more of a reality.
As far as I'm concerned the only reason a person would be this way is because he or she has low self-esteem or no self-confidence. If a person feels like they are competing against your hobbies, they are obviously needing to do some maturing before they should be in a relationship. This was the case with Ferrett Girl but I didn't put enough thought into it at the time.
posted by GreSam @ 10:17
1 Your Opinion:
I totally disagree with the SO making you change. After being married almost 7 years - my husband has not had to stop doing any of his hobbies - if anything he has increased some of them more. It is imperative that happy, successful marriages give each other breathing room, communication, respect, trust and honesty. Usually when I see couples that are making one or the other "change" is because they, themselves, are lacking the self-confidence, trust and communcation that is so desparately needed for relationships to succeed. Unfortunately, I know my husband and I are in the minority with relationships - we've seen it happen to some good friends and we are sad for them, but you have to remember that you can't compare yourself to other people or listen to other people who are miserable in their own relationship. Hell, if we listened to every single unhappy person, none of us would ever do anything! It's a chance that you take... Rock Gal is awesome - don't stress over stuff like this - enjoy life - HAVE FUN, it's too short!
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