Far Out Son of Lung...

Impatient

I used to think that I was a reasonable and patient person. I liked to think that I could sit back, relax and wait for important events to transpire. It is, of course, safe to say that I have no desire to wait and a propensity for rash decisions. In fact, I don't enjoy making decisions at all. Once I am sold on some thing or idea I am fully committed, (even to the detriment of my own health) but I'm just afraid of choosing the wrong thing to commit to... so I only make big decisions.

I suppose I could make apologies for this and try to explain how it all started in my childhood; that by some strange fate I grew up with this abnormal manner of only making decisions about important issues (things involving mass amounts of money, for instance), and not making any decisions about what I consider unimportant issues (where to eat dinner, weekend plans). Am I considered capable of making the right (or best) decisions at a moment's notice? Not likely. In fact, I already know that I possess only adequate decision making skills and that rash & impulse behaviour does enter into the equation. In this manner, I guarantee myself a small bank account.

Sometimes I do a shload [shit-load] of research and come to a decision, but instead of acting upon it immediately I have this funny feeling I need to wait. I suppose this comes about because whatever it is I'm trying to make a decision about really isn't all that pertinent. Of course, the only way I can get to this point is by exhausting all the possibilities, finding every possible avenue before finally discovering that I don't really care.

A good example of this is my choice of hobbies for 2006. I had "made my decision" knowing full well I'd change my mind about 17 times in the process. True to form, I have done just exactly that.

I have been looking at getting back into AutoX or karting or, alternatively, continuing to pursue rock climbing, cycling and maybe delving into more outdoor sports and finally taking that trip to the mountains (or some foreign country) I have been thinking about for the last 6 months. I had the budget set and the plan (to go racing) was ready to be set into action. Then, I waited. It was not necessary to jump right in and do something about it and I've been trying to walk away from racing for some time, so it was only logical to let things sit for a little while and see what happened. I planned on waiting until next year and giving myself the option of attending some events before making any big purchases, so perhaps I have started to break the cycle I had entered some years earlier. At any rate, I'm glad I waited because yet another opportunity presented itself and I'm now researching laptop computers.

And yet, despite my feverish desire to try my hand at creative writing (and get paid for it) I am faced with yet another conundrum. Do I try to work through some back channels and get a steep discount on a system, or do I simply go upfront and pay retail? Given the discount I'm sure this looks like a no brainer, but let me explain. If I go in through the backdoor for a discount, I will need to pay cash. I'm not crazy about parting with that kind of money up front so the option of putting the purchase on a 0% rate credit card and paying it off over 3 months is far better for my mental and fiscal health. Then again, I hate having debt and prefer to pay cash... but in this instance it might be the more sensible and intelligent option, despite a potential discount. On top of that, I think I can get a small (8%) discount through my employer.

See, I hate making decisions.

posted by GreSam @ 09:42